Ebook Download , by Briallen Hopper
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, by Briallen Hopper
Ebook Download , by Briallen Hopper
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Product details
File Size: 987 KB
Print Length: 323 pages
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing; 1 edition (February 5, 2019)
Publication Date: February 5, 2019
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B07FLDGMY3
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#291,954 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
This book is already one of my "saving grace" books (like Middlemarch, Sense and Sensibility, Tiny Beautiful Things, Lit), books that hold me up when I need comfort and a loving, generous, and sharp-eyed vision of the world. Hard to Love is compulsively readable, but also critically astute—I combination I long for and don’t find that often. It gives original insights into literature, television shows and other cultural forms, even offering a new view of conventions like the “author photo,†or, quite delightfully, sperm donation profiles. It is both entertaining as a read, but also thought-provoking on a larger level, doing something bold and sweeping: it stages a cultural intervention about the way we talk about dependence and love as Americans. If women have been urged to “lean in,†this book suggests that we consider the value of leaning on and being leaned on. Hopper gives a vision of support that occurs outside of and in addition to the marriage plots of adult life. The book has impressive range and scope: it talks about alternate forms of family, about standing by sick and grieving friends, about being single and building a life of joy, about trying to have a baby on one's own (the essay, "Moby Dick" about picking a sperm donor made me tear up with laughter), about adult sibling relationships (I love the essay “Dear Octopus†about her brother), about female friendship, about hoarding and how treasured objects spark pyrotechnical-levels of joy, about loving literature and finding models of friendship and social organization in its pages. As a married 40-something woman with two kids, I can say this book isn’t just about singleness—it’s about so much more. It gives a vision of friendship that can exist at a time in life when it feels like the “fierce†loves of youth can disappear while one is being stretched too thin. These “fierce female loves,†as Hopper shows us, have potential not only to nurture us in adult life, but also to offer a social model of support that is undervalued, undermined by a prevailing culture of “individualism†and “self-reliance.†All I can say is that this book really sings to me. Hopper gives a vision of what life can be, lived well, lived with love, lived with friends, no matter what your marital status, sexual preference, or age. This book will, I think, sing to many others too who long for its urgent, loving vision. It’s my new go-to gift for friends.
I have been a fan of Briallen Hopper's work for awhile and was so excited to see her book come out. These essays are incisive, funny, and profoundly meaningful. They have helped me to think about love and friendship in new ways that I appreciate so much! (And literature and American culture and so many other things). I keep buying copies for friends because I want everyone to read this book. HIGHLY recommend!
These essays moved me to tears and made me laugh out loud. They are a vital reminder that love and intimacy can take many, many forms.
This was a neat and thoughtful collection, and while I didn't love all the essays I found them all at least interesting.The one that struck me the most was her essay on "Cheers," which I watched when I was younger but didn't have the perspective to see the human behavior in the same way. Her reflection on Ted Danson's Sam Malone as a middle-aged man beset with ennui now feels relevant in a way it certainly did not in 1983. I also agreed with her thoughts on the post-Diane season, which even young I remembered feeling uncomfortable about the portrayal of Kristie Alley's Rebecca.What I also appreciated about her essays is how "mechanical" they are - which doesn't sound like a compliment. I can see the construction and planning - you could easily use these essays in a writing class for HOW to put an essay together, and how the various ingredients all come together to support a thesis. It would obviously be difficult to 'copy' but she's giving a close reader a roadmap for how to gather their own thoughts.I like any collection that takes a writer's thoughts and validates them by connecting them to the larger world - by using various books or TV series like "Cheers," Hopper feels relevant and part of the larger world. A lot of times essays can feel totally submerged by the writer's thoughts; even if I didn't connect with some of her essays, they felt worldly to me - never self-indulgent naval-gazing.Solid collection that any reader of personal essays, and our own intersections with culture, should appreciate.
Hopper's book begins: "I like to lean. Too much of the time I must hold myself up, so if an opportunity to swoon presents itself, I take it. When I’m getting a haircut and the lady asks me to lean back into the basin for a shampoo, I let myself melt. My muscles go slack, my eyes fall shut, and there is nothing holding me except gravity and the chair and the water and her hands on my head. I feel my tears of bliss slide into the suds." What follows is a gorgeous set of essays about the art of leaning on (and being leaned on by) other people-- on sisters, friends, and the many others who help us through life. Hopper's essay "Dear Flannery," co-written with her friend Ashley Makar while Makar was facing a very serious cancer diagnosis, is one of the most beautiful pieces of writing I've read in my life. In this essay, Hopper and Makar write to each other their reflections on Flannery O'Connor's prayer journals as a way of coping with what seemed at the time to be Makar's imminent death. This essay, as well as Acquainted with Grief and Young Adult Cancer Story, reveal the practice of leaning on others at its most profound extreme, the domain in which our care for one another seems most truly like a glimpse of divine grace. In the other essays, Hopper celebrates the delights of lighter and more joyful kinds of everyday leaning, whether that be baking for her students, appreciating the friendship communities featured in classic TV shows like "Cheers" and "The Golden Girls," writing about her own sisters, or describing her experiences at the Women's March. I really loved this book-- it gave me a chance to pause and appreciate the people I have leaned on in my life, and it has inspired me to think about how I can be the kind of friend Hopper suggests we all need. I've ordered a copy for my mom which I've asked her to pass along to my sister when she's done reading it.
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